an anti-gift guide gift guide
this is a lesser evil set of recommendations
I really debated about this post. I don’t want to encourage you to buy things for anyone (yourself included) that aren’t really needed, but I also have opinions about how to buy things better. (Note: I don’t get any financial kickbacks from links and am in no way affiliated with any of the products below.)
my philosophy on gift-giving
If you’re going to get someone a gift, there are a few ways to make that gift count.
Ask them what they actually want. So often, a gift is meant to be “fun” or “silly” but it’ll inevitably sit on a shelf for a year before getting tossed. I realize the “surprise” is a bit removed if someone tells you what they want, but the more you get someone a gift they actually need/want, the less likely it is to end up in the landfill any time soon. It’s also been shown to improve gift-receiving satisfaction. I have a friend (hi Nick!) who, for my last birthday, asked me to pick something I wanted for myself but might not get on my own. I’d order it, and then he’d send me the money to cover the item. I appreciate the way this allows for ensuring that you get someone something they really want, and it hasn’t changed the special quality the gift has. (I asked for a linen shower curtain. Highly recommend, more on that later.)
Consider a family/group-decided price cap and gift cap. A great way to have a good impact is encouraging gifting that doesn’t prioritize the stuff over the people you’re giving the stuff to. Consider setting a reasonable price cap across your family or gift-giving group and/or saying you’ll each just exchange one present.
Donate to a cause in their honor. The non-profits of the world will not save us, but they do some good—and if you can donate to a local collective in your area, even better. My parents and I would donate to local animal shelters and/or food banks during the holidays, and it was always a wonderful gift to know you were helping others.
Give them an experience. When you’re old and thinking about your life, you probably won’t remember which friend gave you the best present. But you will remember that time you did shrooms and hugged trees and cried about outer space (not speaking from personal experience at all or anything like that) or whatever it is you do with your friends.
Gift them time, a hobby, or a resource. Do you have a friend who needs a night out but would never ask you to babysit? Give them a little coupon—you could design it in Canva, even—and tell them it’s a gift. Are you great at playing piano, and they’d like to learn but can’t take lessons? Why not offer a few hours of piano. If the person feels embarrassed about a gift like this, you can always offer a “trade” where they treat you to coffee or make you lunch to ease the social awkwardness.
Take something boring (but useful) off their plate. What’s laborious for one person is easy for another. Are you a master home decor specialist and have a friend who hasn’t hung up pictures since they moved 2+ years ago? Offer to do it for them or to hire someone to help them (and take care of all the logistics as part of the gift). Tech savvy? Help an older family member get that desktop virus-free or show them how to call on Facetime and schedule a few calls with them. Do you have a friend who has a pile of clothes that need mending, and you can work your way around a sewing machine? It’ll be way more meaningful to get those clothes fixed—then they’ll think of you every time they wear them—versus just one more graphic t-shirt.
Give each person only one gift. Most people buy too much, Americans especially. Can you agree to give people one present only, and make it count?
Give them something homemade. Nothing is more personal than a gift you know someone spent time creating for you, even if it’s a silly homemade card. Gifts are a way to deepen your connection with a person, and you can also get some great time working on a hobby or passion by thinking of gifts that you can’t buy in a store but can make at home.
Give them what they want, but in a slightly more ethical/sustainable form *if* you know they’d still like it. Does your friend want a product to which a great, sustainable alternative exists? A refillable/reusable version of an item you know they’d like? An ethically-made rubber yoga mat instead of one made from plastics? As long as you feel confident it won’t end up in the trash, this can be a nice way to upgrade an item and even add a bit of luxury to it, depending on the product.
Give them something perishable. I don’t know if you know this, but humans need food. Perishable gifts are great, and there are super easy ways to make these minimally wasteful and personal. Get a mason jar, fill it with the measured ingredients for your special cookies your friend raves about, and write out instructions on a cute piece of kraft paper. Tie a ribbon around it. Bam! A beautiful, thoughtful and unique gift that only you could give.
wrap it up, responsibly! (;))
Some quick tips for gift-giving that’s less wasteful.
Nix the glittery wrapping paper. Some wrapping paper is recyclable. If you can tell that it’s only made of paper (try ripping a tiny piece of it to tell it’s not laminated with plastic) and it isn’t adorned with other stuff, it’s recyclable. Otherwise, it’s probably partially made of laminated plastic. Boo!
Forgo wrapping paper altogether in favor of a (nice) paper bag, kraft/butcher paper, and using twine or kraft tape. If you use kraft paper, you can draw fun patterns or notes to your friend on it!
Use a Japanese furoshiki-style way of gifting, where a beautiful cloth is used to decorate an item and conceal its contents
If you’ve got some chill friends, just ask them to close their eyes.
Below, I’ve got a few specific ideas in a handful of categories with links throughout and a few more recommendations at the bottom.
gifts for techies (or kids who beg for smartphones)
I’ve already written about some of my thoughts on technology, but if you’re going to buy tech, you should buy it refurbished. It saves a ton of money, cuts down heavily on emissions, and it’s way better for the planet.
Backmarket.com - They have PS5s, Nintendo Switches, any Apple product you could want, Samsung Galaxy’s, and more. They sell tablets, laptops, e-bikes, some appliances, headphones and earbuds of all kinds—and they’re always expanding their offerings.
Framework laptops - These are fully repairable, part-replaceable, upgradeable laptops. You can pick and choose your parts or, if you have a kid into computers, you can order a DIY model and assemble it. They are really doing something no other laptop company is doing, and I love it.
Smartphones that are ecologically better and/or privacy-forward
Fairphone (Europe and UK only)
Murena 2 (privacy-forward smartphone runs the awesome e/OS)
Teracube sells repair parts for their phones, guarantees 4 years of updates at minimum, and also makes a safe phone for kids
Phones designed to limit your use of them
gifts for crafters
Crafters can be particular, so if you’re not sure what someone would like, consider a gift card to some of these amazing companies, too.
Yarn: Local, American wool yarn made ethically like Beaverslide Dry Goods (Montana), The Farmer’s Daughter Fibers (which also has a super cool Indigenous Collective subscription), Brooklyn Tweed (Nov 24-28, your purchases support the Black Oregon Land Trust, an awesome organization, and Brooklyn Tweed matches the donation).
Craft supplies: Nothing beats getting to touch and hold a crochet hook or a knitting needle yourself before knowing if it’s right for you. Check out a local yarn shop.
Craft accessories: della Q makes bags for carrying craft projects that are beautifully made with all sorts of secretly handy craft features inside
gifts for bookworms
Bookshop.org has gift cards and also an awesome holiday gift guide
Some of my favorite books recently
True Biz by Sara Novic (fiction)
Easy Beauty by Chloe Cooper Jones (memoir)
Prequel by Rachel Maddow (history/non-fiction/politics)
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (natural and Indigenous history)
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner (memoir)
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (fiction)
An Immense World by Ed Yong (science non-fiction)
The Book of (More) Delights by Ross Gay (essays/poetry/memoir)
The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson (American history and non-fiction)
gifts for the home
Arbor Teas - They make awesome tea that’s fair trade and in compostable bulk packaging.
Safe and Sound: The Renter Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust
Quince makes awesome home goods. Get a friend a linen shower curtain and they can stop using those awful PVC liners that mold!
Sijo bedding
Package Free Shop - Originally a store in Brooklyn, and now run exclusively online, this is a zero waste store at its core. They have tons of cute home goods and other things, too.
Juniperseed Mercantile - Based in Colorado, this is a great indie brand for home cleaning products.
Stasher bags - These are reusable silicone bags. You can microwave them, put them in the oven, in the freezer, and more. There are lots of knock-offs, but I coveted these for like three years and bought them during a 2020 Black Friday sale, and I’m obsessed with them. I use them all the time. Great for parents looking to cut down on waste, carry things in waterproof ways, and more. (I’ve seen people put clean diapers in these, even!)
Cultures for Health - Pickling kits, hot sauce kits, sourdough starters, and more.
gifts for the body
I think most skincare is a scam designed to rob folks (especially folks socialized as women) of money and prevent us from rioting, but here’s some stuff I like.
Attitude - They make great zero-waste products that work well. I use their lip balm and deodorant, and they recently started offering cosmetics utilizing recycled ocean plastic.
Activist Skincare - Small brand, low-waste refillable skincare. It’s pretty cool. (I used to use these products personally.)
Suri electric toothbrush - This is my actual toothbrush. It’s designed to be repairable, the replaceable heads are sent back to the company and recycled, and the company is truly invested in this product. It’s compact, has a travel/carry case that sanitizes the brush and, the battery charge lasts at least a month. It doesn’t have tons of annoying lights shining in your face when you just want to clean your damn mouth bones. I’ve had mine for two years, and I love it.
Elate Cosmetics - When I did wear makeup (back before 2020), I really loved Elate’s refillable palettes and sustainable approach. Bonus points for including non-heteronormative models of all ages in their product photos.
Kjaer Weiss - This luxury brand makes refillable mascara, blush, lipstick, and more, all contained in sexy metal packaging.
Alima Pure - Also a brand of choice for me in years past, they make a lot of vegan products and have a refillable line, too.
Native - I alternate between Native Plastic-Free Deodorant and Attitude. You can sometimes find this plastic-free deodorant in stores, but online is always a safe bet.
Bite - They make toothpaste tablets, compostable dental floss, mouthwash, teeth whitening, and a fancy lotion and deodorant in refillable metal cases. I’ve used them and enjoyed them.
JadeYoga and Scoria - Natural yoga mats without PVC (which is in most cheaper mats). Plus, Scoria donates a portion of its profits to Right To Play, a program that empowers Aboriginal and Indigenous youth.
Matador Travel Equipment - This brand makes amazing, aluminum and silicone-based, water-tight containers for everything from prescription pills to refillable toothpaste tubes. I love their products and use them for camping and travel. They also offer in-house repairs whenever possible.
I hope this list was of some use to you! Again, please don’t buy things you or others don’t need, but if you’re going to, sure as hell don’t buy it from Amazon if you can afford another option. ;-)
What’s your philosophy of gift-giving going into the holiday season? Do you have any low-waste alternatives you love that I missed?